Shyam Barr

Blog

 

PREFACE

This blog discusses topics that exist between the fields cognitive psychology and leadership, teaching and learning. Although I make connections between research and personal experience (my attempt at bridging the age-old ‘theory-practice’ gap), I write for a general audience. It is as Mihaly Csikszenmihalyi stated in the preface of his book FLOW:

“To take this step is somewhat dangerous, because as soon as one strays from the stylised constraints of academic prose, it is easy to become careless or overly enthusiastic about such a topic” (p. xi)

To avoid carelessness, I will endeavour to include references to journal articles, books and alike (as commonly expected in academic writing), but not at the expense of accessibility and ease of reading. This will be a delicate balance and one I will endeavour to achieve.

To end, I chose the word ‘discusses’ in the first sentence of this preface, to highlight that although the blog articles themselves are very much a dialogue between myself and what I read, I encourage you to share your comments and questions, so that we may start a more authentic discussion. 

 
 

3 Steps to becoming a better listener and responding to colleagues or students more effectively

I recently attended a work training session that required group discussions. During the group conversations, some of my colleagues appeared quick to express their opinions without listening deeply first. Academics as a group are trained to engage in rigorous debate. Indeed, this is inherent to the training of completing a higher degree by research (e.g., PhD) whereby one develops a deep knowledge of a specific field and must justify their thinking by drawing on relevant literature. After a while, deep knowledge becomes sufficient grounds to argue. This is definitely a benefit to completing a higher degree by research. The risk is that you become too subscribed to your argument that you fail to LISTEN to the arguments of others - I too am vulnerable to this. 

The group conversations prompted me to reflect on how I self-regulate my own listening behaviours and to write this blog for you. 

  • How well do you listen?

  • Have you ever been trained in how to listen?

  • Interested in developing better listening skills?

Here are 3 steps to becoming a better listener and responding more effectively to colleagues or students:

"It's critical: Seek first to understand, then to be understood” ~ Steven Covey

Listening is a skill that we use daily in almost all moments of life, yet very few have been trained in how to listen well.

  1. What if we took a moment to collect our thoughts before diving in to share our opinion?

  2. Would the people we were listening to feel more valued?

  3. Would our response be better (and arguably more meaningful?)?

  4. If the response was better, would more people be likely to listen?

1. Listen (and think) first.

It takes a level of self-discipline (a component of self-regulation) to resist the urge to share your thinking in any moment, prioritising listening first.

Indeed, there are multiple forms of listening. A number of years ago, as part of my training as a coach, I completed a Professional Development Certificate in Evidence-Based Executive Coaching with the Institute of Coaching and Consulting Psychology (ICCP), which was facilitated by Professor Michael Cavanagh and the late Professor Anthony Grant, two very distinguished academics and leaders in the field of evidence based coaching processes. During the training, I learned about four levels of listening:

  • Cosmetic listening: Similar to passive listening, in that the listener is physically present and only some words/meaning are received as part of the sensory perception processes of the brain. 

  • Conversational listening: This type of listening is extremely common. It involves a surface level form of listening, but at the same time formulating a response (the dual process results in lower attention being dedicated to listening).

  • Active listening: This involves self-regulating your attention to the words that are being said.

  • Deep listening: This involves listening not only to the words but the many other cues (e.g., body language) that are available. It is being able to understand the meaning beyond the words.

As I am gathering information (i.e., listening), I am equally processing the information not for the intention of responding, but for understanding. This is a key point of difference from surface level listening to active or deep listening.

If I notice myself forming a response, I tell myself to hold off until I have heard everything the other person has to say. I actually tell myself “for now - just-listen”.

Some strategies that I use to engage in active and deep listening (and thereby build a genuine rapport with the people I work with) is to: 

  • Physically respond to their words (e.g., I’ll nod my head in response to what they are saying, indicating that I am hearing what they are saying)

  • Seek clarification Once the information has been shared (e.g., the other persons have shared their thoughts), as a second layer of developing your understanding, ask ‘clarifying questions’. Examples of clarifying questions might include:

    • Can I just clarify… [Context/Problem/People involved/Role etc.]

      [Paraphrase] – 

    • I’m just going to paraphrase to make sure I’ve understood…

    • It sounds like…

    • Would you say…?

2. PAUSE between listening and responding

This is simply taking a few seconds to finish processing what you have heard and to formulate a suitable response.

3. Then share your thoughts in two steps:

1. Start by acknowledging the value of the things that have already been shared, or the value in the problem.

2. Share your stance/opinion on the matter, making connections to what you have heard and your other prior knowledge.

Obviously, this should be done with a respectful tone. 

One key benefit of following the above process is that when you share your thinking, it will be better received because it will be grounded in your understanding of the problem/context/etc. Your clarifying questions make those things transparent for all, meaning that others are more likely to value your opinion.

Implications for the classroom

  • Could your students engage in better listening behaviours?

  • What would your classroom be like if your students listened to the information being shared (instructions, ideas) and formulated considered responses?

In an effort to teach students to better self-regulate their listening skills, they need to understand the different levels of listening and the self-talk/self-instruction strategies to help them engage in active and deep listening.

Below are some examples of how I would approach this in the classroom:

  1. Get students to generate the ‘what, when and why’ of listening. To elaborate - what do they listen to during a typical day? When do they listen during a typical day? Why do they listen? The idea of this activity is to get students connecting with the importance of listening as a skill worth developing.

  2. Share this blog post with students. This blog could be a prompt for reflection or discussions about the different levels of listening. Can students identify moments in their lives when they have engaged in the different levels? Some further prompting questions: When might you engage in cosmetic listening? Is deep listening always appropriate? 

  3. Model deep listening when listening to students.☺

Beyond the classroom, it is worthwhile considering the listening behaviours of your colleagues and fellow educational leaders. Could you help them develop their listening skills by discussing the different levels of listening or modelling deep listening in formal conversations?

Listening is integral to education. As leaders and teachers we are constantly engaged in a process of listening.

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Shyam Barr